Don’t rely on someone else.
‘True Security isn’t something someone else create for you. It’s something you create for yourself.’
Are you seeking that relationship so you can feel secure in life? Or to complete something within yourself that you’re otherwise not willing to look at? So often this is the case, yet there is the other side of the coin to this and that is what you might also be experiencing… The hesitation to trust someone else? To fully let yourself go within a relationship because perhaps in the past you have found yourself in relationships that haven’t been the healthiest. (see what is an abusive relationship?)
So now that you’ve had a few people break your trust you’re hoping it will be different next time, and maybe it will, but you’re also defensive as you try to anticipate their reaction this time. Because if you can anticipate it you can get out first and not be as hurt by it…. Yet that also means you’ll most likely create the same cycle as they too can feel your one foot out anticipation.
Yet what is true security?
Something I came to the conclusion of 7 years ago when I lost my job in the mining industry, true security isn’t created by someone else, it’s created by me. Whether it is in your job or your relationship, how are you creating true security for yourself?
Are you up skilling yourself to start a side business or growing your mind so you can adapt with greater ease to change? The world isn’t the same as it was where lifetime job security was reality or people stayed in relationships even when times got tough.
Understanding the mental game.
Whether it is in your relationship or in your job. When it comes to the mental game of creating true security for yourself it’s all the same. It will take real, raw honesty with yourself about where you’re at and how you’re seeking to fill this with something else. See when we’re not stable within ourself the tendency is to look for an external thing to distract us. Social media is perfect for this along with food or dating apps.
Where are you not being real with yourself that you’re ultimately not ready to take full responsibility for your life and how it’s playing out? What if you were to accept all of it and let it all go so that you were able to just be in the flow?
The key part…
When you lose trust in other people there is a tendency to have lost trust in your own self. And it’s this lack of self trust that will create the bridge to true security once you’re real with yourself and you uncover it. See when it comes to relying on someone else to provide you with mental, emotional or physical security it generally comes back to a lack of self trust that you will be ok no matter the situation. But yet when you start to see how you will be ok in any situation and how you can get through it then you will be able to let go of the need for someone else to provide you with that security. Instead you will be stepping into true security where you trust yourself and no matter what happens you’ll come out the other side standing tall and smiling!
What area of life are you not willing to be 100% trusting of yourself? Why, what is stopping you from trusting yourself?