Sometimes you just have to say no.
Right now as I sit to write this I’m unable to find the quote that rings in my mind when I think of this topic. I’ll aim to simplify it.
“It’s not the things we said yes to that made us a success, it was the things we said no to that counted.”
Whilst even if I have missed the exact wording for this quote that is perfectly ok because it still stands true. There are many people who will agree. When you say no to projects that are ultimately a distraction from your end goal, is how you keep making process towards your main goal.
What is your relationship with the word no?
For many it’s hard to say no and for me it’s something I’ve been practising more and more of. When you’re used to being a people pleaser I understand it can be a tough word to say. It goes against all of your value system. Triggers the voice in the head to say “but what will they think, will they like me still?”
This is a bit of tough love but if you are not overflowing with self love and need to spend time working on yourself, why does it matter if they have a little reaction to you saying “no thank you.”
The first person to satisfy is you! When you fill your own cup up you’re then able to give from the overflow and be more for others. But also when you have a project going and you’re full steam ahead then it’s also ok to say no. Honour yourself and ensure that you’re making progress.
When you say Yes but really mean No!
This one will put you in all sorts of twists, it’s a sure way to the world of resentment. Whether you end up resenting yourself and beating yourself up or you’re resenting the other person that invited you. Neither of these are great places to be. Either for the negative self destructive spiral that it can put you into OR the health impacts.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a negative place your immune system is seemingly not capable of shaking that cold? That’s because our thoughts affect us in more ways than just mental health, they have a massive impact on our physical health also.
Best way to avoid this is to say no when you really mean to say no.
How to know if ‘no’ is actually my truth?
This is an answer for your intuition, that is the place to query this question. If you’re unfamiliar with your intuition and how to grow a stronger connection with it so you’re able to speak your truth then here’s your answer -> ‘Intuition: What Is It And How To Strengthen It?’
When your intuition is saying no this doesn’t work for us right now then communicate that authentically to the person you’re dealing with. Understand that they might be a little taken back by your response but simply let them know you’re just being honest and that “right now _______ doesn’t work for me.”
If after you have expressed your truth you may find your mind screaming at you ‘how could you have said that’ and ultimately you question your response. If this happens tune back into your intuition and ask it if that was indeed the truth answer. If the response you get back is again ‘yes’ then that’s all you need to know.
Whilst I’m not saying to go on a rampage of saying no to everything, start by tuning in and being true for yourself when no is the answer you actually mean!