Or do you struggle with this?How many times have you deflected a compliment when someone has offered it to you? You know that default response when they say ‘you look good today’ being something to the effect of “thank you, so do you.” or “oh this old thing?” Did you know that deflecting a compliment does more harm than good? But first look at the trigger that has you deflect it.
If you’re unable to be with a compliment then…Let’s take a look at that self love, because there is an unconscious belief there that you don’t deserve the words in which are being said to you. So what is that? What conversation is going on within your mind that has you believe different? Did you know the way you receive a compliment is simply to say “thank you.” There is no trick to it, but it’s on only say “thank you.” And perhaps the purpose of this compliment is simply to highlight this for you, not to enhance this miss belief you have but rather to showcase there is something to explore. In the Path To Self Mastery program I focus on deep diving into uncovering the self destructive triggers that set off these negative thoughts. For more info -> Click here So next time someone gives you a compliment then don’t just shrug it off, in that moment check in with yourself and understand why your reaction is to deflect it.
You disrespect the giver of the compliment.This is probably not something you’ve thought of before and it something I never used to consider either. When someone is giving you a compliment they are offering a part of their heart to you as they felt compelled to share this belief with you. Whilst this analogy is a little strong but when you deflect a compliment from someone you’re figuratively stepping on a piece of their heart. You’re saying that their words are not valid, worthy of correct. This has them feel unfulfilled in this transaction which is them giving the compliment. Perhaps you’ve been on the receiving end of this when you give someone a compliment and they shrug it off. It has you feel flat and can have you close off a little, deciding ‘well I’m not going to give them a compliment again.’ Can you relate? Now this isn’t to say that sometimes people are giving a compliment solely to receive a compliment. If that’s the case then the best thing is to allow their compliment to be received and then at another stage offer them a genuine compliment when you feel compelled to.
If someone can’t receive your compliment.These days haven found my own strength within my self and able to be with a compliment what I find when someone can’t be with the compliment I have given them I simply guide them to the word they are looking for. Because what I have noticed that when someone can’t be with your compliment they go into a state of confusion, their mind going into reason and justification as to why this cannot be the case. So when you give a compliment to someone who goes into this spiral than simple guide them back by saying “I believe the word you are looking for is thank you.” When you bring someone back to this centre they are then able to receive your compliment and find the gratitude in you bringing back to that place of acceptance.
So notice how this all plays out for you next time you give or receive a compliment.